Two voices, the words muffled. A few words come through loud and clear. ‘Goddamnit Eric. I can’t take you any more!’ The female voice says. She is almost screaming. ‘You can and you will. Stop your bitching Lidia.’ The male voice yells in angry response. Lidia. Her name is Lidia. Pretty name. More muffled words, sounds like she is crying. ‘No hell I won’t! Why did you have to hit me? You haven’t worked in three weeks and it’s my fault? I can’t lose my job Eric. I can’t and I won….’ Her words are cut short by a flat sound. I can hear two or three fast clicking sounds, then a thud. The motherfucker slapped her then she staggered back and fell. I can hear alot of babbling back and forth, both trying to talk over the other. She’s crying, he’s yelling. ‘Don’t you dare complain to me. You can’t get by without me. You can’t wipe your ass without me you stupid bitch. You need me.’ He screams. ‘Eric why do you have to be this way? I can’t live with you like this. I love you but goddamn you. "I wonder which of the Gods had to design that thing? And how did they know they were done? They should've worked at it a little longer."Gabby looked down. "Probably a committee." It looks like the last turkey in the shop. Still, not a bad size. Not huge, but nothing to be ashamed of." Well, that just makes me feel a whole lot better." Stop whining. Why don't you try it out? Do something with it."Gabby laughed again. "Xena, I'm not an elephant." Do that peeing standing up thing. See if that's all it's made out to be." How do I get it to... you know... stop doing that?" Just a guess, but I'd say stop looking at me."Gabby turned and faced the woods, and waited."Okay, I think we're in business. Now what?" Now you urinate."Gabby urinated, and got his trousers wet."Xena!" You have to hold it, Gabrielle." Well why didn't you tell me that?" I thought you knew." Well, I apparently don't spend as much time watching men go to the bathroom as you do!"Gabby grabbed his phallus and pointed it,.
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